A new year, and a new start. Today is Sunday, January 1st, 2023. It has been a long time since i've posted on this blog, but am going to try to start again. 

Some momentous things have happened in my life. Most specifically, the death of Larry Benton Qualls, my partner of over 50 years. We met in February of 1972, about a week before Valentine's Day. We were together ever since. And Larry died on Saturday, December 3rd, 2022.

In the last year, Larry was having many health problems. But the doctors could not figure it out. 2021 ended with Larry having two major operations: the first was for cataracts, the other was for his hernia. Supposedly, those operations went smoothly, and he should have started feeling better. But he didn't: the trouble he had walking was getting worse, and he was having problems in terms of standing up, he was getting all stooped over. So he started getting appointments with specialists: cardiologist, gastrointerelogist, et al. Tests and more tests, and nothing coming up. In terms of his functions (heart, cholesterol, etc), he was fine. Better than fine: he was supposedly very healthy. But there was no explanation of why he was having such problems with motor responses, and with his hands. Was it osteoarthritis? Finally, in October, Larry got an appointment with the neurologist, Dr. Kwon of NYU Langone. He looked at the charts, and immediately came up with a diagnosis: Larry had ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) or better known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. Unfortunately, there is no known cure, but there were experimental treatments/therapies. Dr. Kwon was hopeful that we would find one of those treatments/therapies which might provide Larry with some relief, and extend his life. He felt, because Larry was otherwise in such good health, aside from the muscular degeneration and the severe loss of weight, Larry might have a chance of having his life extended for maybe two or three years.

So we had that hope. But in the month of December, Larry's decline was severe. On the last day, he could barely get out of bed, in fact, he would try to sit up, and he just couldn't. It was very painful. Finally, around 5:30, he tried to sit up, but just couldn't, so i asked him if he'd like to lie down, and he said yes. So i had to help him lie back down on the bed. And i know i hugged him as i put his head on the pillow, the last thing i said to him was "I love you so much!" And then i went to do some errands, like feeding the goldfish (the fish tank is in the basement). When i got back, Larry wasn't breathing: it was less than 10 minutes. I called to Gary, who had CPR training, and he felt for a pulse. No pulse. We immediately called 911, and the emergency crew were here in about 10 minutes. They tried to revive Larry, but Larry was finally pronounced dead about an hour later. (As soon as the paramedics arrived, Gary and i called Barry, Larry's brother, who lives in New Jersey, and he drove over: he arrived as the paramedics were still trying everything to revive Larry.) 

There is an obituary in the New York Times, one of those paid legacy obits, which Barry and i worked on; it's in the Sunday (January 1st) edition of the Times. I wanted to make sure that some official announcement was made about Larry's death. 

Last night was New Year's Eve, and this is my first without Larry. With the announcement in the New York Times, it's really true: Larry is gone. I still can't believe it.