"Time heals all wounds." Actually, time seems to exacerbate old wounds. I felt like i was in college again, bexcause i had to finish reading the five screenplays for the ACV Screenplay Competition, and i just couldn't get through the first two i tried reading.... so i waited until Sunday, and then i had to cram, to finish reading all five. I did it, and made my comments, filled out my ballot, etc. And i'm glad i did, because i felt that two were excellent.

Just finished looking at IFP shorts, it's so strange, because the shorts show how various film can be; this batch proved to filled with good material, but all so different.

I was thinking about the time... how the period when Larry took care of Michael in San Diego, and then Larry came back to New York and we took in Kenny... that was the mid-1980s, so it was way before the whole "gay baby boom" happened. And we didn't look to do it, it was the situation where we were almost literally left with the "baby" on the doorstep, and what were we going to do, kick the baby out?

And one reason i don't like going to openings, etc. anymore: there's no reason to go. Movies are one thing i'll always go to, but everything else, there's no one to go with. Just going to a dance concert or an art opening is no fun if there's no one to talk about it with. At least for me. For me, movies are the primary artform.

I remember something that Jill Johnston wrote, how a lot of people who went to the Judson Dance Theater concerts went "for the revolution" and not really because of an interest in dance per se. She was right, of course, and i was one of those people who went to see "the revolution"; when dance returned to "dancing" (cf. Mark Morris), i'm afraid i lost interest.

Movies satisfy my need for everything. Susan Sontag wrote: "Cinema is a kind of pan-art. It can use, incorporate, engulf virtually any other art: the novel, poetry, theater, painting, sculpture, dance, music, architecture. Unlike opera, which is a (virtually) frozen art form, the cinema is and has been a fruitfully conservative medium of ideas and styles of emotion." Going to the movies can satisfy my need for a very traditional narrative, and it can satisfy my need for something more experimental.

But i forgot how wonderful it was to go to see something with someone. I do like going to press screenings and running into people i know. But that's colleagial, it's not that rush of love....