Saturday, February 18, 2006

Olympic thrills.

What's becoming hilarious about the Winter Olympics is the collision of the Olympics with the snowboarding culture. Taking the cue from surfing and skateboarding, snowboarders have this whole laid-back-dude mindset, often fueled (or clouded over) by drugs and alcohol. Perhaps the poster boy for this is Jonny Mosely: after winning a gold medal in moguls, within a year the guy's arrested for DUI, and the "I" is not mere alcohol (he was found in possession of marijuana and other substances), which got him permanently barred from competing. (Justin Hueish, the American gold medalist in archery, is another; it's not just Winter Olympics, it's also prominent in other sports, but the various daredevil skiing and snowboarding events seem to bring it out of people.) But last night, Mosely and Tom Green did a hilarious bit on The Tonight Show, where they attempted to simulate a team luge event by scrambling on top of a skateboard. Tom Green started saying how wonderful it was to feel a man on top of him... and they kept joking in this manner, and finished by having Tom Green put his arm around Mosely and say, "Let's go see 'Brokeback Mountain'!" But what was also hilarious was, at the end of the primetime Olymic telecast, Bob Costas sat down with Lindey Jacobellis, who had been the clear leader in women's snowboardcross, when it came to her last jump. As everyone now knows, she decided to try for a big finish (a simple, clear jump would have secured her the gold medal, because she had such a good lead on the competition) and didn't land her jump, instead, she fell on her ass. But she made her finish, and wound up with a silver medal. So Bob Costas is trying to get her to say that she did something stupid, and she wasn't having any! She just kept saying she was excited, she was really pumped, and, hey, she got a medal! She had fun, she got a medal. To her, case closed. To all these people who see it as part of this American-pride, patriotic duty crap, Lindsey Jacobellis's attitude is: if you think you can do better than a silver medal, go ahead. Otherwise, this is what she got and it's good enough for her.

Poor Bode Miller: you're supposed to party hard and screw up AFTER you get a medal! (See Jonny Mosely.) That way, you become marketable (Mosely doing crap on MTV, like hosting "The Real World/Road Rules Challenge"). You gotta feel for the guy. (So much of the American ski and snow team are so... Aryan! They're all so blond and blue-eyed, like Jacobellis and Miller. It's like Mel Brooks's revenge: these big, strapping, Aryan athletes are... retarded! Even when they win, like Hannah Tetter, she can, like, barely get a sentence out, duh.)


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